Wow. You are four months old, today. I say this in the same disbelief that meets me as each month of your little life passes as quickly as it came. Where is the time going?! It will never stop amazing me. This month you learned how to reach for objects (to stick them in your mouth, of course), roll over from being on both your tummy and your back (the first time in an attempt to reach for something to put in your mouth), and have found for your little toes to play with (yup, also for your mouth!). It is incredible that somebody so tiny can learn so much in such a short amount of time, and it seems like every week we add little achievements to your running list!
Just like you, I have had much to learn myself these past four months. Being a mommy is certainly not easy and much different than anything I’ve ever done before. Just when I start to feel comfortable, you change to keep me on my toes! It has been so rewarding getting to know you and figuring out how to best be your mother. I will always be a work in progress, I know, but stick with me little man, I will always try my hardest to be the mama you deserve.
This upcoming month will be especially hard for your mother because next week, for the first time since May, I will be heading back to work. I can’t help but feel slightly disheartened, as the end of my time exclusively home with you is coming to an end. I have enjoyed my time off with you so immensely, my little sweet, and I am grateful for the amount of time that I did have. I don’t know how moms go back at 6 weeks!! Soon, I will join so many other mommies and have to figure out how to be a working mom.
I hope you know that I have you in mind in my decision to return to work; it is fully based on taking better care of you. I know I will have to constantly repeat that back to myself that my first day back (I will be such a mess!), because it is not an easy thing to leave you, sweetie. I have only been a couple hours away from you at a time, and I catch myself scrolling through the tons of pictures I have of you to feel near you when I am away. You are growing up so fast, and it will be so hard for me to miss so much time with you, but your daddy and I want the best for you, and we will be providing for you the best way that we can.
There is a silver lining to this; when I am not around, your daddy will be there to watch over you. He loves you so much, and he has become such a wonderful father. Plus, he has quickly filled the role of a playful dad that I always thought he would be, and you two have so much fun together! He is pretty awesome all around, as you know, and we would be so lost without him. I am glad that while I am away, I know that you will be safe and sound, and that your daddy will have your company.
Motherhood has been the most challenging but rewarding time of my life, and this challenge will only be one of many that I will have to work through. I think I heard a little something about the age of 2 being quite difficult?! Hehe. I know that we will get through it all together, as a family, with God’s help, and that the moments we have to spend together as a family will be my motivation through the difficult times. I so enjoy watching you grow up; being your mommy brings so much joy into my life, and I couldn’t imagine my life without you, hard times and all.
Happy 4 months, little one.